Sexual Harassment by Manpigs in Public and Courtly Love

First: As a graphic and emotional example, of how many women feel about public sexual harassment, and all sexual behavior in public directed at them: On the subway one day, a couple of years ago, Nicola Briggs, suffered a visual, in person, sexual assault from a pervert flasher. She reacted in a manner appropriate (I wish more women would have her reaction - I would defend her right to do so, immediately). Ms. Briggs has since used this experience toward positive action, teaching women to defend themselves in public, and speaking frequently on the issue. Video taken by passengers went viral and the man was arrested and placed on a sexual predator public directory:

Nicola Briggs: “Then I see his penis out.”

Second: A public experiment that shows us an example of here in the United States (in some other cultures it’s far more blatant and actually accepted by the male population): A heroic young man who is sensitive to this assault on women and two young women who present themselves as prey for an important social experiment. It's also viewed and accepted differently in sub-cultures within the United States.

Video: One molester, two women. 

Third: The video that inspired this essay, a new video produced with purpose to expose public sexual harassment is getting a great response from the public at this time:

10 hours of walking in New York City:

In discussions of this recent video women seem in majority agreement that this is harassment that is offending and so harmful to the feelings of women and girls. There are more than 30 videos of people, mostly men discussing their viewpoint of this experiment. Many men opining on this video presentation are commenters downplaying the significance or harm of this cat-calling and teasing gestures, even the frequent persistent coy and devilish smiling as has been included as harassing behavior in this video. The men are in agreement: “What’s the big deal?”

But be advised men and boy readers: We can not just consider their feelings vaguely or broadly. Try to understand that for the women it is an assaulting challenge on overall self-esteem to experience this every day.

It is as you are followed by the store detective every time you go into a department store. Because you look like a shoplifter in the shallow profiling judgment of some security guard.

A long term hurtful perception from this behavior is developed. We call the victims stigmatized. While your sister is walking, your daughter, your mother she is attempting to maintain pride in who they are, and protect their level of dignity. Self-esteem allows positive emotions like pride and dignity are traits we all try to maintain all day-long.

Men, think about your own pride and self-esteem, and imagine yourself on the other side of this behavior. The behavior invokes the persistent feeling of having to live while stigmatized. A self-esteem defeating condition to have to live with. We men don't want to live with it, why dish-it-out? Unless you're just a selfish and shallow a**hole.

By the way, women are getting armed and training for close encounters with sidewalk a**holes. Stop the cat-calls and the jeers, and passing greetings of animistic sexual barbs. It may be the practical thing to do.

~~~~~~~~~

How to Greet Beautiful Women in Public Using the Mannerisms of Courtly Love:

I want to encourage men and boys toward a new manner of getting a beautiful woman’s attention in public. I find it to be courteous, pleasant, dignified, friendly and far more likely to receive a pleasant reply.

Here’s my take: The background I speak from; I must confess before I go on further with my experience in getting the attention of a woman: I’m a handsome guy from afar and up close. Many guys are not blessed with a face that melts hearts at first glance and that can be a handicap when trying to meet a woman in the public environment.  To my disadvantage I have actually denied my appearance as handsome or “cute,” for most of my life. As I disbelieved persistently that attraction to my appearance was a factor in the many times a girl or a woman made first advances by flirting communications toward me. I have walked away from at least ten (probably many more) opportunities to further a chance meeting into a romantic relationship, completely unknown to me while I was being hit-on by an attractive girl or woman. Because of my under appreciation for the face I genetically inherited and my (false) low self-esteem in this important area of human interaction in life I have allowed myself to collect remorseful memories of several of these encounters where I later realized “I blew-it.”

The author: The heart breaker face that did not know it - many times.

My mother was a feminist in the late 1960’s and into her life. As a boy I was dragged along to her weekly and sometimes bi-weekly Women’s Liberation Front meetings. Where I was bored by the apparent gaggles of women who were voicing their disgust with being treated by men as a lower status of a person. They were clearly angry and full of complaints and on the verge of being ready to take-up arms. But I was a little boy and so paid scant attention to their pleas for equality. However, my mother explained the issue to me once or twice during those days and so I shared in her passion, but only casually because I was a hyperactive little boy.

Mommy's' little feminist of the future. 1968.

Use Courtly Love

Aretha Franklin was not just singing pretty sounding words, when she reminded us all "A little respect," is all it takes. Constant respect in romantic or admiration behavior is the basic premise of Courtly Love.

In the public as an attractive woman approaches my location I seek a moment in the timing of her approach that will likely catch her eye. When that tiny moment arrives I always wave (not excitedly) and smile pleasantly and say in an upbeat intonation (mid or high C note) “Hi” or “Hello.” Nothing is sexual about it except for your own secret intention. I hope to convey to her the feeling of being addressed by someone “Who would be grateful to know me.” This impression is often a priority for a woman. Don't forget this men, boys, lesbian or bi-sexual women and girls.

Guys seriously: You are far more likely to get a return smile and a wave for your efforts in this manner than those cat calls will ever get you. Or by doing something foolish like spontaneously flattering her hair or shoes. Because she's then thinking "What the f--k do men know about hair and shoes? What an a**hole!” Sometimes this is received as disarming to a woman's natural defensive persona while in public. Seen as distinctly different from a confrontation or a sexual threat. I get a pleasant return for my brief investment at a chance at love. Sometimes the pretty woman will reply quickly, seemingly impulsively, and wave back and smile. I just recently received a pleasant return wave and smile from a pretty girl, from over 150 feet away, on the other side of grassy common, in eastern Connecticut. And that is rare in New England.

I was motivated to adopt this public approach upon having a realization as a 17-year-old, at a time when I was feeling very lonely. I had developed a social phobia. I impulsively launched into a nervous panic when faced with a beautiful girl or woman who I would feel could be a romantic and or sexual prospect (it is fear of failure). I remember one day deciding positively that the chances of just running-into a beautiful woman and meeting her in a comfortable and natural context, where I felt more confident, were odds almost as bad as those of winning the lottery. So I resolved at that time that I would always attempt to wave and say "Hi," to catch the eye and attention of a beautiful woman or girl. I would not deny myself the opportunity of being in love with an attractive partner.

Courtly Love. A 12th-century European adaptation, inspired by poets and troubadours of the many kingdoms. One day a new queen carried to her court, and proclaimed it be practiced, in her own ways:

Wickipedia:

Courtly love (or fine amor) was a medieval European literary conception of love that emphasized nobility and chivalry. Medieval literature is filled with examples of knights setting out on adventures and performing various services for ladies because of their "courtly love". This kind of love is originally a literary fiction created for the entertainment of the nobility, but as time passed, these ideas about love changed and attracted a larger audience. In the high Middle Ages a "game of love" developed around these ideas as a set of social practices. "Loving nobly" was considered to be an enriching and improving practice.[1][2]

Courtly love began in the ducal and princely courts of Aquitaine, Provence, Champagne, ducal Burgundy and the Norman Kingdom of Sicily[3] at the end of the eleventh century. In essence, courtly love was an experience between erotic desire and spiritual attainment that now seems contradictory as "a love at once illicit and morally elevating, passionate and disciplined, humiliating and exalting, human and transcendent".[4]

The term "courtly love" was first popularized by Gaston Paris in 1883, and has since come under a wide variety of definitions and uses, even being dismissed as nineteenth-century romantic fiction. Its interpretation, origins and influences continue to be a matter of critical debate.

God Speed! by Edmund Blair Leighton, 1900: a late Victorian view of a lady of the Court giving a favor to a knight about to do battle.

It’s different in different cultures.

To my experience, of living in three subcultures of this country - women react differently in public to a kind or pleasant greeting, or visual confrontation from a man, soft or light or even seemingly sexual, in different regions with differing cultural norms, of this country, and it is true in the world (as is seen in the 2nd video).

In Maryland where I grew to a young man, once I adopted my new method of greeting in attempting to make contact with a new beautiful woman, I could usually get a reply wave and often a “Hello,” in response to my kind, innocent in presentation, greetings. Even if delivered while driving my car past a beautiful woman. After moving to Massachusetts, I received one, one sunny day in Boston, in the entirety of living there for more than 10 years. I remember joking to the man I was traveling with “She must be from California.” I used to say to my male friends “They’re like walking refrigerators; they react as if I’m presumed to be a masher.” In that region of this country, even a friendly approach is likely dismissed and ignored, although heard clearly, as likely sexually motivated taunt that would result in harm, or “knowing some pig.”

In the south, in Louisiana where I lived, and in Georgia, and in Florida, a pleasant return can be expected, but not always. But when I left Massachusetts for the wilds of California, at age 30, I soon discovered a reply was common. Even a beautiful woman only hearing my greeting, may turn to smile and wave back, she’ll wave her hand behind her in the air above her, seemingly grateful, as she goes about her life. But that's California a.k.a fantasy-land. And men, if you're wondering if it's true, that women and girls are more beautiful in California, I tell you now, it's really true.

Copyright Reserved, James Gray Mason / End All Suffering, November, 2014, 2-2016,

YouTube video serach results: Public Sexual Harassment

#sexualharassment #catcalls #menrpigs #now #womenonly #mansman #courtlylove #gentlemen

The National Academy of Community Policing an Idea whats Time has Come

Time to get serious about who our law enforcement officers are and get serious about a national standard for their training.

Addendum, May 2020; I am no longer in favor of the government creating new, uniform, and large university style colleges for Community Policing, to make great humans into great cops and distribute them as needed to finally have proper, civil, and controlled temperament police officers. I now want robot cops. We can build them now. To hell with this attempt at correcting humans in matters this important and complex, we need artificial intelligence in robots for all public safety and service jobs. The doctors too! They are such assholes.

Robocop, 1987

The police should never be considered by any citizen to be an instant threat to their freedom and safety - if they are generally following the law. A cop should never have (or feel) he or she  needs to have the ever present feeling that each day may be his or her last day on Earth. No civilly legal confrontation with a cop needs to invoke a reaction of fear in anyone who feels they were following the law. Time for a standard and national and long lasting solution that addresses these needs NOW. Great people who become great cops. The catchphrase of a philosophy that we all need to now embrace as key to creating a standard of policing that is shared by every community. A catchphrase that speaks to our failure in our past of not realizing this. In our past ignorance, it was our subconsciously lowered value of the lives of those who would harm us or steal from us (“those criminal types!”) that has allowed our collective to allow far too many exceptions as to the type of people we are allowing to become cops. It’s a job that (definitely) not anyone can do. It’s a service that is dangerous in a nation that is flooded with a barely regulated consumer product designed to kill others. It’s a job that requires full knowledge of the life and death circumstances that must be accepted before each new shift begins.

How long are we going to allow regular people to become cops without first making sure they are great people? The answer of likelihood: Perhaps never if we allow the current direction and old standard of hiring all police to be a mishmash of individual community’s standards. Including, continuing to allow privatized police officer schools to operate and flourish. Including having individual state justice department's use many standards of acceptance such as “Has had firearms experience in the military.” Or, “Worked as a volunteer with the local Sheriff's department.” Or, “Says “He/she really wants to help people.””

We can’t possibly know who these cop “Wanna be’s” are inside themselves. We can’t possibly know all of their past behaviors that would reveal what they may be capable of, years later when adapted to the dangerous and dynamism of thousands of personal situations they will be in. We can’t possibly predict what type of person that genuinely a cop will become after years of service on-the-street.

The role of a peace officer has been taken too lightly. We in the United States are some of the most impulsive and violent people on the planet. Our freedom results in this national personal we have become. We have among us nearly 290,000,000 firearms of all sizes and capacities floating about in private hands, uniquely when compared to all other post-industrial societies on Earth. We have a media which portrays frequently; people using violence to solve problems of domestic complexity. Most of us are capable of experiencing a temporary (or chronic) mental state that any good psychologist would agree “Needs to be addressed!”

It is time to begin a shutdown of every single police academy in this country and convert that system to an agreed upon national standard of complete training that awards a degree of excellence to every single cop in every single community in our larger community. Standards are the problem. Standards that are too relaxed or completely missing are what need to be taught to every single person who is charged with the responsibility of maintaining our safety and upholding law and order. The time to think about this was about 230 years ago unfortunately as is the case with so many problems within the United States. We have a mess of missing standards. Solution time:

Many of us in the United States are of the opinion that local is always better.  As if a government that has a geographic center, in Washington D.C., cannot possibly know how to deal with an issue in Kentucky for instance. If you are a person who has had difficulty with the bureaucracy of a federal institution you may have adopted the opinion that locally is better in all things. I am of the former school of thought when looking at all the very local incidents that indicate what needs fixing in the United States. I am a “nationalist,” one might say. I am so because I have lived in five states as a citizen and I see the same problems in every state. I see that local standards are slightly different in almost any way they can be where the United States constitution allows for difference of standards, mostly in the justice system, are allowed to exist. Criminal justice is a stark example at this time and it has always been since the inception of this confederation of states.

What we have in our criminal justice system in the United States is discrepancies in standards. Standards of both the rule of law and in the training of those whose careers are to uphold the rule of law. As a citizen of any economic walk-of-life in the United States It would be comforting to know exactly what to expect from one state to another or one county or one city to another. All of the cases of seemingly unlawful conduct by our law officers that we read about and watch on television news reporting are vast discrepancies of a missing standard of the enforcement of the law, spread out across this country.

A National Academy of Community Policing could bring about a standard of law enforcement that is a high degree of behavior that we citizens can all learn about and so know what to expect in every dangerous or every friendly confrontation with a law officer. It should be behavior of the cop and behavior of the citizen that we learn about beginning in grade school. We would be safer. Our cops could become people from whom we all know what to expect. A cop could then have a high and reasonable expectation that that a seemingly unruly citizen has learned this standard of expectation. A standard of behavior on both sides of the law is missing. If you do not see this, you have not been observing and then thinking about what is missing. Standards make us safer. Behavior that is taught is behavior that can be reasonably expected.

Here are some leading questions of which you probably have a reasonable answer:

How does a child with a toy gun behave when a police car is approaching and the cops are vocally yelling something at him or her?

What exactly can a motorist expect if he or she does not fully cooperate with a cop during the short time they are being confronted with the accusation of having made a traffic violation?

Is the life of any single citizen more valuable to any community than the life of any single law enforcement officer?

Should a law enforcement officer be expected to endanger his body when controlling a situation? Should a cop use his or her electric Taser or a club or use basic hand-to-hand combat training to “arrest,” or calm a situation when an emotionally distraught citizen is wielding a baseball bat yet know one has yet been harmed? Shoot to kill and ask questions later? Shoot to wound and ask questions later?

Should a state-sponsored prosecutor be the sole guardian and arbiter of a grand jury process when a prosecutor is a career-long friend of a local police department?

My proposal requires we all see that the absence of standardization that focuses on “Great people before great cops,” has led us to have 120,000 cops of too many poorly trained people conducting too many civil rights violations upon citizens. I will not present evidence of this condition here. That evidence only needs to be seen and heard in nearly any city newspaper or electronic media in our community today.

Enter: the National Academy of Community Policing. A vision of what the founders of this country would likely have written into our Articles of Confederation as integral to a peaceful society that uses a centralized government. If they had a time travel visual device with them in 1776. It is our task to use modernity correctly to adapt those founder’s dream to fit what they could not see - in our future.

Imagine please: fifty of these academies of excellence distributed throughout the United States. An applicant to this academy has to be tested to get in. He or she will have to have completed many prerequisite courses, that are strongly emphasizing the study of the humanities, to have his or her application even looked at by academy admissions officers. Once in, the real study begins. The first year of training focusing solely on the peaceful and constitutional treatment of citizens. The psychology of people in a complex society, in variable types of local economies, will be taught and tested for. Several students may be booted-out after the first year as testing will be stringent and frequent and tough.

Year two will be all policing. Full training of the correct methodology of dealing with all kinds of citizens. Field training that is closely supervised. A daily - six days per week, and weekend days, a regimen of people training and the intense grooming of themselves to be the great people they were tested in to indicate they were prior to the Academy.

For a graduate of this proposed 2-year degree of excellence: Pride they earned like few civil servants ever get to experience. A certificate of graduation they will honor and be very proud of the rest of their lives. A degree of excellence proven they will never want to dishonor. A memory of mentors who taught them during the most memorable two years of their lives. The knowledge and clear confidence that they know the people of their community’s better than nearly anyone else.

They will be cops that most anyone of any level of society will have confidence and no fear of talking to on the street or at their car’s driver’s side door at any hour of the day.

The federal government needs to do this soon. Waiting and hoping that individual states and counties will incorporate true constitutional training and methods that train great people before attempting to train great cops - is something we don’t have the time for. That slowly evolving idea would take decades of the typical pattern of the citizens of the United States discovering what will be needed, and that is is needed at all.

The first several years of graduates should be in hot demand by every municipality. Those early graduates will have the ability to rise in their communities to become leaders of the community. They will be first to be considered a great choice of Chief of Police, the Head Sheriff, the Commissioner, the sergeant, the captain of the precinct and so forth. After several thousand of these graduates hit the streets their value to their first served communities will become clear. We will then see funding for their continued hiring and placement increased. As citizens of one big nation, we will see the value of funding them from a centralized source. We will quickly agree this is money well worth it. We will begin to unafraid of a police confrontation. We will be confident and safe from fear of people we should never have been afraid of to begin with - the founders of this experiment in democracy had had a time travel visualization device when the concocted this great idea.

~~~~~

8/10/2016

Baltimore PD has gotten its ass reamed by the Justice Department. A systemic and almost innate pattern of bad policing and bigoted and discriminatory behavior has been documented well. 

A community cannot trust the police when these behaviors are recognized by them. When there is no trust, fighting crime with the help of the community is nearly lost. 

If there had existed several National Academies of Community Policing, there would be 2,000 graduates ready to replace the bulk of the entire Baltimore Police department and ready now. Unfortunately, the later solution is truly the only to correct this ingrained mess in that department. Change needs to happen fast in Baltimore. Not creeping adjustments, trying to teach thousands of experienced cops to have empathy and revert from their pattern of behavior is futile and will cause the people to not recognize the change because it will appear slow and there will be many who don't recognize the change, due to a slow and adaptive speed of change. We can't beat the ingrained psychology of these cops. Can't happen. Does not happen in the case of ANY human trapped in a pattern of bad behavior.

They must ALL BE REPLACED. All of them. Every officer, every chief, every sergent. I have no confidence that any other slow and adaptive way can fix the mess there. The entire department has to be REPLACED. Every single one of them. All of them.

~~~~~

Next: the clear need for real Traffic Cops. Cops who are not armed towers of fear invoking, armored gun wielding people - who have no other business than addressing your traffic or vehicle behavior and compliance with rules of the road. Or; people who cannot turn your traffic stop into a violent confrontation on the side of the road - unless they first back-off and call a graduate of the National Academy of Community Policing.

~~~~~`

Law and Order Broken

 by James Gray Mason, 2015. 

You are understood #MilwakeeUnrest. Your lives are invaluable.


#endallsuffering #stopallsuffering #blacklivesmatter #justice  #NoJusticeNoPeace #Martin 

All Rights Reserved, End All Suffering / James Gray Mason, 2015.

Launch Page: http://endallsuffering.org

#PoliceOfficer #LEO #LawEnforcement #CommunityPolicing #USDJ #USAttorneyGeneral #AttorneyGeneral #JusticeDepartment #USDJsocial #POTUS #USCongress #USHR #USSENATE #DNC #RNC #Democrat #Republican #Liberal #Conservative #PoliceBrutality #BlackLivesMatter #CampaignZero #Justice #CivilRights #EndAllSuffering #StopAllSuffering #JamesGMason #Creativity #YouAssholes ! #Cops #UnitedStates #CommunityCollege #PoliceAcademy #timetravelwish

The Late Night Television Sign-Off from NASA that Provided Real Hope

NASA did much more than send people to the moon in the great era of spaceflight that they brought to us.

Both my parents worked at NASA Goddard Space Flight Center in the best years of my boyhood. On off-school days my mother would bring me to work and I would have my run of the whole compound. I got to know hundreds of smiling faces, of people all working to send us into space. Then at night I got to watch Star Trek. I knew with all the certainty a boy could have that the adults could do it. - James.

 

In our lives there are but a few very inspirational and hopeful memories kept in the vaults of our minds which we would not trade for anything. We remember moments with our parents, at the beach for instance, when we were feeling hopeful, and inspired and loved all at the same time. My most precious such memory is not any moments as a child with his mother or father or his family. Mine is a music video produced by the National Air and Space Administration and made available in nineteen seventy-two to any television station who wanted it. As a boy growing up in Washington D.C., I would purposefully stay awake for the sign-off on WTTG Metromedia channel 5, which occurred at midnight every night.

The nineteen sixties and nineteen seventies were times of turmoil. It was a depressing time to be a child who is both growing and also be apprised of events in the world around you, as your mind and body grew without choice. But this music video inspired a feeling that was so strong, it convinced my consciousness every night, that there was indeed hope.  It made a claim in its message that "the adults had not screwed everything-up entirely," although everything I saw or read during the day surely indicated that they had.

Everyone held recent memory of news clips and photographs from the horrific Vietnam War. It was a painful change in the process almost every day. Assassinations of the best people we had seemed common. Unarmed demonstrations put down with violence by governments, caused me to think that change was impossible. Everyone maintained a level of fear that nuclear war would occur at any given time, at the push of a button by someone being angry, being careless, being ruthless, trying to win the war. I would look at the sunrise and think "some asshole could take it all away for everyone," and the thought would bring tears to my eyes. The civil rights battles for equality gave us all imagery of man's inhumanity toward man, treating people as animals to be herded. The rise of the proliferation of the handgun changed the way we thought about just being outside at night. We treated each other based on shallow differences. Discrimination was granted by society and it seemed very ugly as I was made more aware of it frequently.

"What's the point? If I'm going to grow up to have to face all of this? Who stands a chance in this world?" My child's mind rationally deduced.

But then I could escape hopelessness late at night by watching what was for me a lullaby of hope and peace possible. It was the channel five sign-off, featuring NASA Apollo Eleven astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin bouncing about on the moon. And the song Lonely People by the band America playing during the film clips. This showed me a reality on the other side of hopelessness and so reminded me there is hope for me, and perhaps for everyone.

Many people gather the feeling of hope from a religion, by having beliefs, but I was not a child of beliefs. My parents worked at NASA and I played there on many days when school was out, and I had my run-of-the-place in every building and had made friends with many grown-ups. And so I saw the wonders that man could frequently create and it was explained to me how we created them often. I was not a boy whose psychology could be settled with an invisible source of hope.  I had to have the physical, the touchable, the measurable, the viewable to draw on for hope when I was alone with my thoughts. And this sign-off video was abundant with hope for my little scientific mind.

If a hope is one of the reasons, you immerse in a belief system I have this suggestion if ever you feel your beliefs aren't enough. You can find hope by observing your fellow humans and their many wonderful behaviors, discoveries and inventions, insights and philosophies of real life, from reality. Hope from the physical world feels pretty good and there is no supernatural element to create even the smallest doubt in your mind. So this type of hope is as solid as it is there in front of you.

Thanks Ed Smith! Your buddy: Jamie

Thanks to all you old-timers at NASA Goddard, Greenbelt, Maryland!

June 2014: YouTube:

John ____:   "Hi - My Dad, Byron Morgan directed the NASA sign off you're talking about when he was head of documentary films at NASA in Washington DC in the 1970s.  I think he got the recommendation of the song from my sister.  An original of the sign off might exist among my Dad's things and will look for it and post it if it exists. If anyone comes across it in the meantime, please let me know! Thanks for all the warm comments.  He would appreciate them.  And thanks so much Oddity Archive for the recreation!  You certainly got the spirit of what he wanted to show.

Some of the moments I remember...when the song says "hit it!" the Lunar Landing Module takes off from the Moon.  It ends with a crane shot of a woman and man in a park and they're spinning around which I think matched spinning NASA footage? A bit of a Kubrick homage ;)"

~~~~~~

________ : "I worked for TV station WAWS in Jacksonville,Florida back in 1981. We used to run the original. Great job of recreating it. Kind of missed the ending, if I remember correctly, it went from the moon, to a sat dish and ended with a couple standing over their baby's crib, I guess kind of 2001 ish "star child " ending. I love your ending with the flag shot, thought it was just as effective.I posted this on a facebook post, someone brought up the old national anthem sing offs. Thanks for posting this, awesome job."

Additionally: A great radio story about the hey-days of early NASA: Science Friday; NASA during the civil rights era.Listen at SoundCloud:

Image from NASA, "Engineer Thomas Byrdsong checks the Apollo/Saturn 1B Ground-wind-loads model in the Transonic Dynamics Tunnel 648 at NASA Langley Research Center on March 2, 1963. Photo by NASA."

Copyright Reserved: End All Suffering / James G. Mason, June, 2014.